i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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