Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
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If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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