a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize