Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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