she was so not down for the gang bang
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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