I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize