so explain again why im purple
no
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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