Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize