there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize