Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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