benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize