Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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