please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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