i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize