just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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