Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize