were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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