but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
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If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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