I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
They took my balls.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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