sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize