Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
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