she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize