Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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