I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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