the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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