I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wish they made helmets for livers.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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