Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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