I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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