i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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