Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

Whiskey dick.

(810): View more from Michigan

Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.

(417): View more from Missouri

Everyday of my life.

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(417): Whiskey dick. (810): Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it. (417): Everyday of my life. http://tfl.nu/axyq

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(214): View more from Texas

yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning

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(214): yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning http://tfl.nu/ufvh

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(315): View more from New York

You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.

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(315): You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you. http://tfl.nu/rrga

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(812): View more from Indiana

Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate

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(812): Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate http://tfl.nu/9bko

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(317): View more from Indiana

im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.

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(317): im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like. http://tfl.nu/djvv

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(312): View more from Illinois

just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"

(1-312): View more from Illinois

go get him tiger.

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(312): just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun" (1-312): go get him tiger. http://tfl.nu/5kmx

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(407): View more from Florida

the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?

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(407): the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day? http://tfl.nu/2o1l

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(310): View more from California

Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.

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(310): Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though. http://tfl.nu/8195

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(318): View more from Louisiana

What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?

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(318): What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway? http://tfl.nu/w9j3

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(623): View more from Arizona

Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.

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(623): Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth. http://tfl.nu/v51o

Replies (17) Good night (896) Bad night (3083) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!

(678): View more from Georgia

correction: escorted out

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(404): YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?! (678): correction: escorted out http://tfl.nu/gkul

Replies (23) Good night (5094) Bad night (831)
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(352): View more from Florida

She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.

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(352): She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject. http://tfl.nu/69m3

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(303): View more from Colorado

there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation

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(303): there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation http://tfl.nu/pddg

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(937): View more from Ohio

it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics

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(937): it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics http://tfl.nu/vrre

Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (1853) Order T-Shirt
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(425): View more from Washington

There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.

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(425): There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above. http://tfl.nu/ffte

Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (83) Order T-Shirt

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