Too much gin, very little bucket
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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