He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize