i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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