Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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