im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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