I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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