so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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