I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
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It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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