I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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