Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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