I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize