No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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