who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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