we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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