drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize