I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize