Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize