you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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