You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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