Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
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Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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